How to make a sharp dressed man

Wednesday 12.05.2007 12:12AM

In 13 steps (give or take):

For the optimal experience, open and listen to Sharp Dressed Man while reading.

1) Take one smelly guy.
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2) Dunk guy in water repeatedly until clean. Dry.
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Some may resist this procedure.

3) Apply clean, ironed slacks.
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4) Apply clean white t-shirt.
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5) Apply clean, ironed long-sleeve button-up shirt.
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6) Button up the shirt.
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7) Now button it up correctly, lining up all the buttons with the right holes. Try working top down.
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8) Put on tie.
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9) Nice try. Now tie it.
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10) Around your neck.
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If you're in mild discomfort, but still able to barely breathe, you're doing it right. This is what ties were created for.

11) Put on belt.
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While holding your hands at your side in a superhero pose.

12) Apply socks and shoes. Note: not white socks and tennis shoes.
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Use black socks, with diamond patterns. Ladies love diamonds.

13) Comb hair, apply suit jacket, and look good.
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Voilą, you have a sharp dressed man.

and every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

There's 8 “bonus” pictures on my Flickr starting here, along with some other notes about the set.

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IMAROBOT

Thursday 03.29.2007 02:06AM

Random late night fun, chat transcript:

jeremiah: You're a round what?
gregor: I'm a round “I'm sleeping” or so it should say.
jeremiah: heh
jeremiah: Alright, you keep telling yourself you're sleeping. *nods*
gregor: yep, this is just a bot gRegor programmed
jeremiah: That's freaking awesome. So that means you'll end up repeating yourself at some point or just not make sense at some point when I ask a question. Right?
gregor: Sure!
jeremiah: Awesome.
gregor: Why do you say that's Awesome?
jeremiah: And I love the delayed time between what I type and response time.
gregor: What do you think of delayed time?
jeremiah: Makes it almost seem like it's just someone else gRegor has threatened to IM bot for him.
gregor: Why do you say that?
jeremiah: I think daylight saving time sucks.
jeremiah: Ah, the classic “Why do you say that?”
gregor: Interesting. go on...
jeremiah: lol
gregor: haha
jeremiah: Apparently gRegor has had plenty of experience talking with IM bots.
gregor: Do you like experience talking with IM bots?
jeremiah: And it even shows that the “bot” is typing. Fantastic.
gregor: Why do you say that?
jeremiah: Because it's a fact. My IM shows when you're typing.
gregor: Sure!
jeremiah: Interesting. go on...
jeremiah: No no no. That was an “Interesting. go on...” response.
gregor: Interesting. go on...
jeremiah: The bot BACKSPACED!
jeremiah: lol
gregor: haha
jeremiah: Well then “bot.” Goodnight. I need to focus on this site and the phpbb fetch all for the site.
gregor: haha, you've been talking to a robot all this time, not gRegor! Now send it on to your friends at talktoarobot.com!
jeremiah: lol
gregor: FYI, gRegor may choose to blog this chat transcript.

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Aqua Teen Terrorist Force

Friday 02.02.2007 01:41AM

Maybe I am rehashing what you have already heard, but the bureaucrats have once again narrowly saved us from certain (cartoon) terrorist doom.

There's this cartoon, called Aqua Teen Hunger Terrorist Force. In it is this character named Ignignokt. As part of an advertising campaign, some circuit boards with flashing LEDs (of this character) were placed around Boston (and 10 other American cities, apparently). Someone in Boston mistook them for a bomb and well, the city went into lockdown while the bureaucrats came in to save the day...

...only to find out what is pretty obvious by just looking at these things: they're basically Lite-Brites not bombs.

But police officials said they contained circuit boards with components “consistent with an improvised explosive device.” Oooh.

So far this story is pretty funny, except the two people responsible for placing them were charged with “placing a hoax device” along with disorderly conduct. If you do not see the problem with that sentence, please look up the word hoax.

On the bright side – and bringing much humor back into this – the two held a press conference after being released today, and they talked exclusively about hair. This is a must-watch press conference.

“That's not a hair question.”

Never forget

(image via laurenis)

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Ring ring ring

Wednesday 12.13.2006 12:33PM

What cell phone provider do you recommend and why? I'm looking to switch plans from Revol; not because they are bad, but I don't use a lot of minutes and for a comparable price I can have broader coverage with a normal plan.

After reading about this “Verizon math” incident, I might rule them out. Summary: a guy was quoted .002 cents per kilobyte of data transfer, but was charged .002 dollars per kilobyte. Multiple customer service representatives and even managers did not acknowledge or understand the pivotal difference there. They took the figures, multiplied them out, and instead of quoting the answer in the proper units (cents), they quoted it in dollars. But hey, it's only 70 cents versus 70 dollars. This is pretty sad, it's basic math. It's also darn funny. The phone call was recorded, so you can listen or read the transcript. More on the VerizonMath blog.

P.S. banana phone.

The Lean Years Tradition Currently Listening
The Lean Years Tradition
by Model Engine

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So. True.

Wednesday 10.04.2006 02:31AM


from the fabulous webcomic: xkcd.com

I like how the author puts more info/commentary in the title attribute for each comic. e.g. “It slowly dawns on us that our parents knew exactly what they were doing.” So true.

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