Browsing May 2008

A Floating Smile

Saturday 05.31.2008 03:29AM

Listen.

Cool Hand Luke - “A Floating Smile”

I'm sad that I don't think about You
Because I just can't get on without You
You speak in the funniest things
Glimpses of Heavenly dreams

Lately it seems that it's harder
For my legs to walk any farther
I need You to show me I need You
And give me the faith to believe You

One day You'll come back
Soon You will come back
One day You'll take me home (x2)

We'll fly away
We'll fly away
We'll fly away
Forever and ever
On a floating smile

Tagged:
comment (1) | add to del.icio.us

The First Year

Friday 05.23.2008 04:21AM

It has been an interesting month or so, with the anniversary of my heart incident on my mind. It feels weird – difficult to put into words. Not a “bad” feeling, mostly introspection and reminiscing, gratitude and celebration. When it comes down to it, I can be a sentimental sap, and this is certainly an instance.

It was the evening of May 12, 2007 that it happened. May 16 I started to come out of my coma. May 23 I had the pacemaker/defibrillator put in, and May 24 I was released from the hospital. Just a year later, most of that recovery time seems a blur and I wish I remembered more specifics. Thanks to the forum Doug set up, I am able to refresh my memory on several things. Reading it often makes me tear up. I do not want to forget that time when I really realized what was going on, how blessed I felt to be alive, and the feeling of the outpouring of love from everyone.

I was watching Lars and the Real Girl last week (which is a really good movie that I recommend). There's a scene that when a crisis hits, a few older ladies come to the house, bring food, sit and knit. Lars feels a bit awkward, unsure of what he should be doing...

Lars: Um, is there something I should be doing right now?
Lady 1: No, dear. You eat.
Lady 2: We came over to sit.
Lady 3: That's what people do when tragedy strikes.
Lady 2: They come over, and sit.

Those few simple lines of dialogue brought tears to my eyes because it struck me that is exactly what my friends had done for me. I just re-read a forum post where Ron said, “our friend is in trouble, and if we can't sit with him, then we can sit near him.” They did just that, waiting in the lobby together, and holding prayer vigils. It's all just very humbling.

I remember Ron's birthday party that he organized last summer, which turned out to really be a party in my honor; Sheryl's “Wake Up” mix CDs that I listened to in the hospital; the angel that Sarah sent me (it still sits right by my monitor on my desk); Allison visiting, laughing a lot, and freaking out my mom; the LOST season finale party in my hospital room; Tara, the nurse that I never met but that my friends will always tell me is “super cute” and that I should go for her since I squeezed her hand when I was unconscious.

I would enjoy hearing some of the things you remember.

Tagged:
comments (10) | add to del.icio.us

Late Night Thoughts

Wednesday 05.07.2008 02:42AM

I should write a blog post, eh?

I keep thinking that, but have not made the time to do it. That usually makes me think about the busyness of life and how I have not been doing well at balance, as far as being productive with my time. It is easy to let the free time slide, especially now that Spring is here and there is plenty of fun to be had. I am not too hard on myself about it, but have been breaking my to-do list into easier, discrete tasks and using rememberthemilk.com to keep on top of them.

I have not done the “No Screen Night” consistently, unfortunately. The other week I really needed it though, so disconnected for a night. Nothing interesting to report there, except that I got several things done and it was relaxing.

For some reason, I have never really jotted notes or drafts for blog posts. I should probably do that more often, then I would have more frequent posts – and of a better quality than this one.

Changes. It was back in February that I started to decrease the dosage on my anti-spasmodic prescription, and as of April 22 I am off it entirely. I have had no symptoms or side-effects during that time or since stopping entirely, so that's good. Since they do not know how my body might react after being on the medicine for about a year, I'm not supposed to drive for several months (seizure risk while driving).

My California plans are most likely on hold for a little while longer. I need to finish my degree, which unfortunately means enrolling as a returning student and putting me under a different course bulletin than I was before. It has not changed a lot and all of my courses will apply, but I will probably have to take two or three more classes instead of one. I'm ok with it, I guess. I'm not as concerned about the “safety net” of having the degree as I am just accomplishing it. Plus, I get to be around my Midwest friends a bit longer; leaving was never going to be easy.

I voted for Ron Paul today in the Indiana primary. I never got around to writing more in-depth about him and why I support him, unfortunately. Maybe I'll write something later, in retrospect (or not, since that will fall in my to-do list and disappear :). I know McCain has the nomination sealed up, but it's just a primary and Paul is still on the ballot. It was symbolic support for the message, which I always thought was more important than his chances at the nomination / Presidency.

I am excited to see that Mary Ruwart recently announced she's seeking the Libertarian Party nomination. She's the author of the book I have been reading, Healing our World in an Age of Aggression. Every article I have read (and her book) has been principled, consistent, and articulately deals with issues of liberty. She has a long history as a liberty activist and knows her stuff; I'm really hoping she gets the nomination.

And now it's quite late. Stream of consciousness over.

Tagged: / / /
comments (3) | add to del.icio.us